6 years ago, as I emerged from the mess of my 20s and finding myself in a reflective mood as my 30th birthday approached, I asked a bunch of brilliant women for the advice they would share with their younger selves.
I was stunned by the level of insight and generosity offered by these incredible women. And I was really charmed by the diversity of perspectives, and the different things these women - all women I know and admire - found worthy of sharing, with their younger selves and with me.
For some reason, I never published it (I think I was being overly ambitious and got a little overwhelmed - very unlike me…)
Until today, when *one of my oldest and most brilliant friends* Becky McCann published her responses to my prompt on her own blog that popped up in a Facebook memory.
Finally, I've pulled the gems together for a long overdue post. I am so lucky to know so many incredible women. Safe to say their wisdom is still relevant. And happily, I’ve acquired just a little bit of wisdom of my own.
Love your body and mind. Your body is your temple and your vessel that will guide you through life. Nurture it. Do nice things for it. Feed it well, give it the exercise it needs and be grateful to it. Try not to fight it or pick on it but accept it for it's beauty, whatever form it is. It is the only one you'll have in this life. What a gift!
Never underestimate kindness. I’m not just talking about being kind to others either. It is so important to be kind to yourself. More than that, be consciously kind to yourself – then it will become sheer habit, that little voice playing on your insecurities will be a little softer, your soul will feel a little lighter, your mind will be a little quieter, and you will be able to listen a little louder (that’s another thing… real comprehensive listening is a dying skill, so many of us are too focused on what we’re going to say next to actually listen).
Don't be scared to change your mind. Don't die wondering - learn what you love to do by eliminating things you don't. And I like to trust the old adage, "do what you love and the money will follow". it's harder to break away from the societal norm and what's expected of you to take the road less travelled, but infinitely more rewarding to know you've made a conscious choice to do it the way you want. No one's judgement can touch you when you're secure in this knowledge.
Life is mysterious, challenging and beautiful. Embrace the challenges and gain perspective by remembering that there is always someone else who is feeling more challenged by life than yourself.
The world doesn't owe you anything, you owe the world something. Don't expect not to work hard in order to achieve those things you strive for. And always try to find the best in a bad situation!
- Katrina, 34 - My friend and fellow football wagging unofficial bridesmaid
Life's messy. There's no easy way round it. You can try and put it in a neat little boxes with tidy edges but you'll only end up on prozac or worse. So go with it. Laugh at the madness. Flow. Trust. Live your life. Life is perfect in all its madness.
Celebrate and capture the small, positive moments in every day. It sounds simple, but over time this habit will bring more energy, optimism, stronger relationships and happiness - a cumulative list of so many reasons to be happy.
Create a good relationship between yourself and time. I’m still not resolved about whether my over scheduling issue is a charming personality quirk or the core of my life improvement ambitions, but I think its a sign I desire being involved, active and connected to others. Rather than professing constant busy-ness and wearing it as a misguided badge of honour, take inspiration from the sloth once in a while rather than the crazed mouse running around the treadmill.
When things are difficult and you feel as though you are stripped back, pruned to you core, know that you can and will resurface - and quite possibly be better off and a bigger person for living through it all as well. Know that you are providing great service to the world as a woman by being courageous, compassionate, confident and smart. Keep speaking up with grace and dignity.
Know that you are the master of your own destiny. Wherever you find yourself, know that you are choosing to be there. If you don’t like it, change the story! Embrace the adventure, follow your bliss, and create a life that suits YOU regardless of what others expect.
- That one’s from present-day me, 35