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It’s been 6 weeks between musings, and this is largely because I feel like I don’t have much to report. Like all of us, the holding pattern of restrictions, lockdowns, working from home, and deferred travel plans, and general uncertainty have been wearing me down a bit… I know that we are all extremely lucky that we’ve largely managed to dodge the worst of this pandemic, and that we’re mostly grappling with loss of livelihoods rather than loss of lives. For me, the challenging part about this latest wave of lockdowns is lack of clarity about a path out of this, the compounding loss of confidence, and the connection with others which we’re all missing - which is not insignificant. Not for the first time during the pandemic, I’m finding my (always limited) attention span is completely shot. I hardly have the scope to read a lot of the great writing I know is happening about the predicament we find ourselves in, much less an actual book. I’m also hitting my limit with screen time, and finding it increasingly difficult to get excited and motivated about my day to day work - even though I’m lucky enough to be in a role I normally find interesting and meaningful. The unfortunate timing of this bad weather feels like it is compounding the impacts of these latest lockdowns. Everything just feels like a bit of a slog! Even still, I don’t want to just sit out this time of uncertainty in survival mode. I’m trying to remind myself that life is mostly not the big moments and high points. It is more often mundane - but there is good to be had there too. Time passes, life quietly goes on. And in the everyday banality there are opportunities for care and connection (with self and others), self-reflection, and creativity - the best stuff. I think we know intellectually that great things rarely come from the easy moments in life. Good stuff comes from tackling challenges, exploring tensions, uncovering lost depths. So trying to remind myself that rather than sitting this out, I could gently dive in deeper… There’s an argument for a different approach too. Reducing our expectations, resigning ourselves to tranquility, focusing on the small things, and putting care into the mundane. Or maybe this is a yes/and rather than either/or proposition? I’m also reminding myself that there is still a place for fun! I propose we all get dressed up in our gladrags and compile our own version of this lil bubble of joy this lockdown weekend. I’m intrigued to know whether this time has yielded any particular insights, lessons, change for any of you? Surely being forced to evaluate what’s really important has been worthwhile for many of us? There are a couple of accounts of this here and here, but I’m curious if that’s the case for you lovely people? In any case, I hope you’re being kind to yourself and others, and that you’re ok - or that you’ll reach out if you need to. Never has “we’re all in this together” felt more accurate. Lara xx
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